How to Tap in to Love and Joy This Holiday Season When You Feel Like You Haven’t Done Enough
Ah, the holidays… (or is it yikes?)!
It’s meant to be the most wonderful time of the year, filled with joy, connection, and warmth. But somewhere between Black Friday deals and the endless Instagram feeds of perfectly curated gifts and decorations, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short. Maybe you didn’t check every name off your gift list. Maybe you’re second-guessing the presents you did buy. Or maybe you’re comparing yourself to someone else’s version of holiday perfection.
Whatever it is, let’s take a deep breath and step back.
This article is your go-to pocket list for finding love and joy during the holidays—no matter how you’re feeling or what’s on your plate.
Whether you use just one strategy or layer multiple ideas, you’ll find ways to reconnect with what really matters, guide your kids toward meaningful moments, and embrace the season with love, gratitude, and joy.
It’s important to remember…
You are enough. Right here.
Right now.
But often during the holiday, it doesn’t feel like it.
So let’s dig into why we feel like we’re not measuring up and how to shift into the love, joy, and meaning that the holidays are really about.
Why We Feel Like We’re Falling Short
At the heart of these feelings is a little voice (you know the one) that whispers, It’s not enough. You’re not enough. This scarcity mindset shows up in many forms during the holidays:
- Comparison Culture: Social media makes it easy to feel like we’re competing in a game of “Who Did the Holidays Better?”
- Unrealistic Expectations: We’ve been sold a story of picture-perfect holidays—and when real life doesn’t match up, we feel we’ve failed.
- Equating Gifts with Love: There’s a cultural pressure to prove our love through how much we spend, rather than through our presence and connection.
And let’s not forget our little ones. Kids can sometimes mirror our feelings of “not enough,” especially when their friends seem to be getting more or “better” gifts. It’s easy to feel like we’ve let them down—but this is an opportunity to teach them (and remind ourselves) about the deeper meaning of the season.
Here’s the truth: The holidays are not a scorecard. Love is not measured in dollars, and joy isn’t found in a perfectly wrapped box. Love and joy are found in the meaning we create and the moments we cherish.
Shifting into the Spiritual Side of the Holidays
When we zoom out and take an airplane view of our lives, something magical happens.
We remember that the holidays aren’t about perfection; they’re about connection—with ourselves, with others, and with the Divine. This might mean tapping into the power of God, Universal Love, the Highest Self, or whatever resonates as a Power Greater Than Ourselves.
The spiritual side of the season invites us to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with what is most meaningful and sacred.
Here’s how to embrace the spiritual side of the holidays and deepen your experience:
- Pause and Reflect: Take a quiet moment in stillness. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, What is the energy I want to share with the people I love this season? This simple act of reflection helps you focus on creating love, joy, and peace rather than chasing material perfection.
- Practice Gratitude as a Spiritual Act: Gratitude isn’t just a practice; it’s a bridge to Universal Love. Write down three things every day that you’re grateful for, but go deeper. Reflect on why these things matter to you and how they align with the bigger picture of your life.
- Set a Spiritual Intention: Think about how you want to show up during the holidays— not just in actions but in spirit. For example, “I will embody love, patience, and kindness” or “I will reflect the Divine by offering peace and joy to those around me.”
- Reconnect with Your Core Values: Consider the values that make you feel spiritually aligned—kindness, generosity, compassion, or authenticity. As you make decisions, whether about gifts or gatherings, ask yourself if your choices reflect those values.
- Bring Your Children into the Practice: If your children are feeling disappointed or unfulfilled, guide them in simple spiritual practices like gratitude journaling, storytelling about the meaning of the holidays, or sharing blessings around the dinner table. These practices not only ease their concerns but also create meaningful family traditions.
When we center ourselves in the spiritual essence of the holidays, we tap into a wellspring of peace, joy, and love that transcends all the hustle and bustle. This connection is what makes the season truly magical.
Fun Strategies to Bring Joy to Your Kids
Sometimes, it takes a little creativity to help our kiddos shift their focus from material things to meaningful moments. Here are some fun, engaging activities to help them (and you!) connect with the true spirit of the holidays:
- Create a Holiday Bucket List: Sit down as a family and make a list of fun, free, or low-cost activities you can do together. Ideas include driving around to look at holiday lights, having a hot chocolate night, or hosting a family game night.
- Give the Gift of Time: Schedule a “Kids’ Choice Day” where your children get to pick activities for the whole family to enjoy together. Whether it’s a picnic on the living room floor or a movie marathon in pajamas, this time together creates lasting memories.
- Make Giving Fun: Encourage your kids to make handmade gifts or cards for friends and family. Even better, have a crafting day together! This shifts the focus to the joy of creating and giving rather than receiving.
- Adopt a Family Tradition: Create a special ritual that’s just for your family. It could be baking cookies and delivering them to neighbors, reading a favorite holiday book by the fire, or even having a holiday dance-off in the kitchen.
- Teach the Joy of Giving Back: Volunteer as a family. Whether it’s donating toys to a holiday drive, serving at a local shelter, or simply spreading kindness through random acts, these experiences teach kids the joy of generosity.
- Set Up a Gratitude Jar: Have each family member write down something they’re grateful for every day leading up to the holidays. On Christmas Eve or another special day, read them together as a family.
These activities not only create lasting memories but also shift the focus to love, connection, and shared joy—reminding everyone that the holidays are about the moments we create together, not just the gifts under the tree (and those are fun too!).
Finally, Give Yourself Permission to Be Happy, Joyful, and Free
Let this be your permission slip: You don’t need to do more, buy more, or be more to deserve joy. You are enough, just as you are. The holidays are a chance to celebrate that truth and to share your love and light with others.
So, let’s make this season about what really matters. Let’s choose connection over perfection, gratitude over guilt, and love over fear. Let’s embrace the joy that comes not from what we do, but from who we are.
Because you, my friend, are more than enough. And that is worth celebrating.
