My dear friend Molly always says when she’s having emotional difficulty, “Ohhhh… it’s a feeling, get it off of me!”
Well, I’ve found in my practice that most women feel the same way about money. They’re afraid.
For most of these women, their money and finances have attached to them a feeling of lack, a feeling of inadequacy, a feeling of overwhelm and dread. And here’s the really interesting part: most of these women are the primary breadwinners, CFOs of their households, educated, and yet… they cannot sleep at night due to an undercurrent of financial fear.
Their financial fear looks like this: becoming a bag lady, losing all their money in the stock market, having massive emergency expenses that they are unprepared for, unemployment, not enough or no retirement, too much debt, and not enough savings. Ultimately, when is the other shoe going to drop? Sound familiar? I’ve had these fears too.
Are these fears real? Yes, the fear is absolutely real, but in most cases, the financial destitution portion is not.
I have found the biggest problem with money is that no one talks about it-not with family or friends, and even partners and spouses have difficulty talking about money.
As women, talking about problems helps us to move through and beyond them, coming to a resolution. So, if you cannot feel safe talking about your financial fear, how do you go about solving it?
If you’re like me, I never like to go it alone. So, if you’re willing and able, reach out to a financial coach, trusted advisor, or accountant. Explain your worry, and make a plan to tackle and overcome the fears together. My suggestion is to make sure you hire someone who understands the fear, is compassionate in their approach, and is there to support your journey to financial wholeness.
If you want to try it alone first, here are 3 steps you can take to begin to rid yourself of these fears:
(1) Identify which fears have you stuck. Just knowing you have them is a huge step to untying their grip.
(2) Read books. If you like to read, or even if you don’t, research and read a book on money. Find one that calls to you when researching. This will start to build an awareness on money and how to manage it. It is a start toward building and strengthening your financial muscles.
(3) Build a plan to address the fears. Budget (a 6-letter bad word that I’ll blog about later), reduce the debt, build the savings.
Get the money fears out in the light, talk about them, and make a plan. You’ll sleep much better.
3 Responses
You hit the nail on the proverbial head!!! All that and more, thank you for communicating what has been a life long battle. I thank the universe for your knowledge and wisdom!
I love this! Thank you…xo
Yes, this! The fear is real, even when there’s no current crisis. And to deal with that fear, when it’s out in the open you can—I can—make a plan so the crisis won’t happen. And you are so good at seeing the emotions, together with the big financial picture.